I’m not sure if I’m missing a part but I couldn’t seem to find it… but I think I’m catching the drift. 

The last part you posted… you sent to me without being anonymous.  And since you started it that way, I’m guessing you don’t want to be “known”… so I’ll post what you wrote here on this part.. and then answer below.  :-)

But when we’re not kissing, she seems really homophobic. I think she’s just sorta scared because as she’s grown up, she’s been taught that being like that is wrong. But I really don’t know :( I think I could even love her. I think about her all the time and it puts a smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach, and I miss her when we’re not together for more than a day. I wish she and I could be together, but I’m afraid of making a wrong move and destroying our friendship.Help? :) PLEASE(:

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Alright, clearly you are feeling something deep … and it’s completely understandable because you two kiss and are good friends and all.  The issue is that she’s struggling with her identity.  You say she’s “grown up” but I don’t know what the age difference is between the two of you.  It’s pretty clear that she just doesn’t really know what she wants right now. 

The biggest problem here is that until she knows what she wants… you’re going to keep getting this hot/cold attitude from her.  I know that’s a terrible thing to say, but it’s the truth.  And I’m not sure what to recommend for you to do until she can make that decision in her life… as I don’t know how long that will take.  It may be that she’ll come around soon… or it could be something that she struggles with for months or years. 

The best thing I can tell you to do may be a bit painful for you.  You may need to pull back a little bit and give her some room to make some smart decisions.  You may also want to talk to her and let her know how you feel… that you are very interested but at the same time… you don’t want to ruin your friendship.  Since you and her have kissed a lot… I don’t think it’s a stretch to talk to her about it.  She’s clearly showing you SOME level of interest so I think the conversation can definitely be had.

Let me know if that helps.   :-) 

~kev

You don’t blabber… :-)  It’s all good… onto part 2…

Well thank you!! :-)  You are more than welcome to message me on Skype.  :-)

Kev.NCali

Talk soon!!

~kev

This is a hard question to answer as I don’t really know what he’ll tell you.  I think if you do tell him now, he may tell you that it’s just a “phase” that you will grow out of (which isn’t true).  He may also just be happy that you came out.  He may not.  I really have no idea on this one. 

You may want to have a backup plan in place.  If he doesn’t accept it well… and I’m assuming that you live with him… do you have any other place you can go?  I’m not suggesting it…. not at all… but I always think it’s worth having a backup in place to ease your mind.

And don’t rush things.  If you feel that you’re ready to come out, please do… but if you are that nervous about what he’ll say… then consider what you’re thinking.  Maybe give it some additional time.  But if you are ready… then you have my blessing.  :-)

Oh, and when you do tell him… give him some time to sort it all out.  Like you, it may take some time for him to process it all.  And that’s ok, you know?  So once you tell him, see how he reacts.  If he reacts good… well great.  If he doesn’t.. then give him some time and space… and do your best not to be defensive. 

Let me know how else I can help!

~Kev

You’re alive! :-) lol… how have you been doing?  :-D

~kev

Well, there’s no sure fire way unless he’s walking around announcing that he’s gay.

There are signs to look for… but all of it is stereotypical. 

I can tell you that one of the ways that I’ve been able to tell is when your eyes lock.  That moment where you’re trying to figure each other out… but you don’t want to say too much.  That moment… you just feel it.  It’s like a level of assurances that you share together… then you know.

That’s really the best advice I can give tho.  I’m hoping that helps!

~Kev~

I think losing your virginity should be a choice that you make for yourself.  I’m not going to put an age on it, but I do think that it’s a choice that you have to make.  But please know that whatever it is that you do… you’ll never forget it… meaning that whoever is your first… you’ll never forget him.  So I do think you want to keep that in mind.

So keep your eyes open for Mr Right.  :-)  He’ll come along.  :-D

~kev

You have a lot of questions.  That’s good!  :-)

As I was just mentioning on the last message.  We like what we like.  If you like light skinned boys, that’s fine.  If you like dark skinned guys, that’s fine too!  :-)

We like what we like.  That’s not discriminating.  :-)

~k3v~

We all like what we like… so I don’t think you’re discriminating because it’s what you like.  If you only like masculine men, date masculine men.  There are guys out there who only like effeminate men… and will only date them.  :-) 

So you’re fine.  :-)

~kev

I know quite a few actually.  Guys love guys… some guys love effeminate men… and other love masculine men.  But let me tell you… there is plenty of both for both.  I mean it.  :-)

~Kev