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Great blog Kev! So there's this guy that I have a crush on but he says hes "straight", and he just got into a relationship with this girl :-/, but every time him and I hang out we always smile into each others eyes and flirt a little bit with each other. We have been good friends for over a year and I haven't told him that I'm gay. I want to get him out of my head but I don't know how to and I also want to come out to my family and friends. Any suggestions/advice that u can help me with my?

This is a lot.  I could probably go on and on and on and on and on about all the different things that you can do…. but part of this will be learning to see what works best for you. 

The fact that you put straight in quotes means that you truly don’t buy the fact that he’s not at least somewhat into guys.  And I can tell that you’re holding onto that fact in how you talk about how he flirts with you somewhat. 

I will tell you that it is easy to see what we want to see when we’re crushing on someone.  It MAY be true that he’s into you…but it may be that he’s just that way.  Maybe he does that to everyone.  Maybe he doesn’t.  It’s hard to say. 

If you truly want to find out more, I would suggest coming out to him and seeing if he says anything back.  I would not… I repeat… would NOT tell him that you’re into him in that same conversation.  Why not?  That’s a lot for someone to take in. 

Granted if you tell him that you’re gay and he says that he’s gay too and you both keep talking about how amazing and great it is… and then you want to tell him?  Then I’d give you a pass to say that.

If you come out to him and he accepts you and then you guys move onto another topic… leave having a crush on him out of the conversation.  The last thing you want to do is make your friend uncomfortable.  He may need time to process things.

I know it’s hard to get him out of your head, but you need to see him for the great friend that he is… more than a love interest.

I’d recommend focusing your energy on coming out and being the best you that you can be.  Sure, it may be hard to get him out of your head, but without KNOWING that he’s gay… you can’t assume anything.  So see him for the cool guy that he is until you TRULY have a reason to think otherwise.  Once you tell him… if he keeps flirting with you… well… you can bring it up at that point.  You can let him know that it sends you signals and you want him to know that.  He may be doing it on purpose…but without talking to him… you won’t know.  And I wouldn’t recommend talking to him about it until you’ve come out.  :-)

Let me know if you have any other questions! :-D  And if you want to talk about this further… I’m here!

~kev